Stop (A Poem)

poetry

 

Dear mind,
dear dreaming self,
please stop.
You are walking
at it’s a dangerous path.
I see the briers.
I see the holes,
pit falls,
stumbling blocks
and thorns.
I can tell
where all this thinking,
where all this dreams,
and wishing will lead.
It is clear as a day
without a cloud in the sky
and I am wearing new, clean glasses.
The briers are crisp
and the thorns are bright.
The holes contrast the beauty of the light
the pit falls are almost shouting
with their daunting blackness.

The warning signs are hung
and they are direct,
so mind please stop,
dreaming self wake up.
I know where this is going.
I have been down this road,
journeying around this area,
too many times before.
I have walked to the end of the road
nearly falling off the edge,
so mind please sleep
and dreaming self turn off.

You need to stop,
before you fall into the hole.
Desist unless you trip
into the dark pit falls that are around.
Resist even thinking about the flowers
their steams are thorns.
Turn around before the briers get you.
Mind, please I have had enough.
Dreaming self it is all a dream
one which you control.

Please, self, turn around,
in your mind,
walk down another path.
Do not journey down
the path meant for two.
Do not go on the road
when you are alone.

Thank you.

200th post… celebration

encouragement

That quote seems to fit this moment. I just published my 200th blog post. It seems fitting to talk about the journey and how much I have changed in the 200 posts. I will try to make it interesting and not lame.  I am going to be going through the old posts that I made. Hopefully  I find a good sampling.

This blog started as an outlet for my reviews. I had an idea that I would watch and review over 300 movies. I mean I had reviewed a few movies for a class I had taken in college, so I should be able to right 300 hundred of them. I did give myself 6 years to complete it and I still have a few years before that is up. I still have the list, but my life will have to dramatically change to find time to write reviews.

I also started this blog, because I did not think I would have any other outlet for my love of movies and entertainment. I did not think a ‘real career’ in the entertainment industry was an attainable dream. Now, it may still be far off, but I don’t believe it is unattainable. It will take hard work, struggle, time and sacrifice, but I can do it. That is why I started to write the DreamWard Bound series. I honestly believe my creativity will one day be my only job.

Next, I added Story Time With Pink Sunshine. It was supposed to be short stories that could be transformed into chapters in a book. I did not get very far with that, though. It was a big story with lots of details to write. I still plan to tell this story. It will always be in my heart yearning to get out, but I will a solid amount of time to actually write it out.

It seems with the starting of Story Time I started to branch out with my creativity on this blog. I started to write poems,  updates, thoughts, and even a few short stories. It seems like once I gave myself freedom to do anything on this blog I did do anything. I have grown with this blog in my creativity and have changed my life, because a few people read my writings and my thoughts.

It may still be a small blog, but hey I wrote 200 posts and I am pretty sure each one was read by some one. I think that is enough minds touched to celebrate and change your life a bit for. So, thank you for taking this journey with me and if you want to compare my journey through my creativity I will leave you a few links that you can compare.

 

First poetry.

First Poem Post (Dream of plans)

Last Poem I posted (Poetry Of Words)

Short Stories

First One (My Testimony)

Last Short Story I Posted (Free Lobster)

Funny both are true stories

Review:

First (Amelie)

Last (Lost Colony)

Updates / talking about what was going on in my life

First (All My Projects)

Last (This Past week’s DreamWard Bound)

Okay I am done boring you with lists. Let me know what you think though. Can you see the change?

 

 

October 4, 2014's DreamWard Bound

success

This week was crazy at work. I was in the role called support, so I had to deal with people all week, client and co-workers. I can tell already that I will not like the weeks when I am on support. This week was a roller coaster and had to stay late most nights, because although some days were slow it seemed like the questions came at the end of the day.

This week just further proves the point that there is no typical week. Every week and every day is going to be different. All I can do, all any one can do, is be their best during that day or week.

All that being said, I did not do well on my goals. I just had no energy, brain power, or will power to do anything besides living after work. I did not read my Bible at all, which is supposed to be my #1 goal. I did talk to my family members a bit, but not as much as I would have liked.

My weight loss and healthy living style was a joke, but I did realize something about it. I am a stress eater. When I am overly stress or tired I just don’t care and will eat more. I also need to make sure I at least walk every day, because even if I have no energy for the gym I can do little things.

I did get the third Goal Getters video up. This week was step 3. I almost want to post more than one a week, but I don’t want to run out tips. I also don’t want to start something extra when I know I wouldn’t be able to continue it long-term. I  at least don’t want to do that with this channel.

I did not write five poems this week, but I did write four. One of my poems from this week was really received well. I got a bunch of likes on the blog and on the Facebook link. The link was even shared. The poem was I’ll wait and I will be doing a poetry reading of it for YouTube later on.

I do have a monologue that I will also be recording soon. I did not practice it yet, but it is shorter than the other ones.

This is the off week for painting, so I will not be doing that. I am also thinking about reevaluating the goal. Painting is my most artistic form, at least I feel like it is the most artistic  form I do. I like the freedom in it and how each painting is saying something. If I have to do it for 2 hours every other week, than it turns into a chore I have to do and not an expression that I love doing.

Lastly my novel is still on the back burner. I am hoping to start taking notes and working through it in the next few weeks. I know once I start I will not be able to stop and will fall back into that world. I can not wait for that to happen, but life is getting in the way.

Now, that I write all the goals out it seems like I did do a lot more than I realized this week, which makes me glad that I wrote this post. It also pushes me to wanting to do more this next week. We will have to wait and see how the week goes though.

 

Here is what I did this week.

I Will Wait (A Poem)

One Day Of Crazy. (A Poem)

Are You My Dream? (A Poem)

Brain Melt ( A Poem)

Goal Getters (video)

Mabel Chiltern’s Monologue (Video)

 

That is 6 things from the last 7 days (I think I am going to start to keep track of the number of things I post each week).

Paradox of Life (poetic random thoughts)

writing

I love my life
yet I fight for it to change.
I work towards my dreams
that may force my loved ones away.
I am happy with myself
but am always changing.

It’s like
the night wishing to be the day,
sunshine wishing to be the rain,
the light wishing to be darkness.

I strive to change
when there is no need.
I work towards a new life
when my own is wonderful.
It must be how I am wired
always looking for better
when I already have greatness
searching for more love
when love is already overflowing
and looking for sunshine
when there is not a cloud in the day’s sky.

Yes, I love my life
yet I fight for it to change.
I work towards my dreams
that may force my loved ones away.
I am happy with myself
but am always changing.

This is what is going on in my head right now. It’s part wondering and part simply realizing, I have a good life, yet I still am looking for more. 

DreamWard Bound ( August 16 to the 23rd)

success

 

I want to take a minute to be real. I want this blog to be an honest portrayal of my journey to reaching all my major goals and all the little ones to get there.

Now I have big dreams that are far away and hard to reach for. Sometimes I don’t believe I will ever get there, other times I am so sure that it is a matter of time. Still either way I am thinking I fight on and this week was a fight. I did not want to do anything; I did not want to live the life I am living. Also, all week I felt and well still feel like something is going to change. Something is going to happen in my life, mostly because of the feelings of I can’t continue on the path I am on.

Even with feeling this fight inside of me (the fight for my future) I pushed on. I decided that the one channel on YouTube is not enough, mostly because I am crazy. I was stressed with the load I had, so let’s throw more work on it. Still I think this will help people, because even though I am still on the journey towards my goals and dreams I know there are other people who haven’t even started yet.

Also, even though I did not want to do anything and I seriously was fighting just to be myself, I went to the gym three times (four times if you include today in the week). This is because of my goal to lose weight. I am realizing though I will need to do more than going to the gym four times a week. My goal is to lose 30 lbs and so I have not lost anything in these two weeks, so that is discouraging. I’m still going to push myself and work out.

I am still trying and working towards my dreams, even though it is hard. I am on the road to my dreams, even though they are far. I am pushing forward, even though I do not want to. I wish I could stop some times, but that is not in me. I need to stay on this road and fight for my dreams, because I am done just going with the flow of life and finally am living for all that I can be. It is a hard thing and it I feel like I am swimming up-stream I would gladly swim again the current because it will make every success that much better. Each goal that is this hard to reach will be so worth it.

Struggle makes your goals worth the fight.

 

Things I fought to create this week.

Sped up Painting (post)

Sped up logo Painting (YouTube)

It’s a Poem

Dear Past Self

Voice

Past Never My Future

 

Dear past self

writing

No human can complete you,
You are complete,
even if you are a bit broken,
once you realize this you will be happier.

Some people won’t stay in your life
that doesn’t mean they didn’t love you
it simply means your paths have changed.
Still keep 3 types of people around you
those who build you up,
those who show you how to grow
and those who remind you of who you were.
At some point in your life you will be lucky;
you will feel complete
and have everyone you need.

Now life will be hard
and the path will be rough.
You’re dreams will seem far away,
but you have to keep going on.
Always look forward
and although you may like to look back
remember you are not the same as you were.
You are on a journey.
Your life is a journey that changes you.
So look back when you must
but try to look forward towards the bright future,
because even when the path seems dark
there is light around one of the corners.

I'm DreamWard Bound (August 9th to the 16th)

success

 

I’m feeling good with how my week turned out. I wrote poems and posted videos this week. I also joined a gym that is near my house today. Things seem to be going well for me as I sit and write this blog. I mean I was a bit drained and stressed from work along with everything else by Friday, but playing Pathfinder with my friends helped that. I was able to relax and be a bit crazy. It amazes me sometimes how much laughter can help wash the week’s stress away.

I am super excited about the ideas for this coming week and the fact that I will really be starting on my fitness goal. I also have a few poems brewing in my mind that are asking to be shared with you. I will share the new poems with you unless there are explosions around me, which I do not foresee happening.

Yes, I am in  a weirder mood as I update you on this week and a bit all over the place. I may not be stressed from the week any more, but that does not mean that I am not thinking about everything going on whether it is something random or otherwise. I have many plans and many ideas floating around in my mind. I am still not sure how to do everything I want to do, but I at least know what I can do for the time being.

I should write more and tell you more about my week. I am being a space shot though and so very easily distracted that I will just leave you with a list of things I did this week. At other points in the week I will write more about my journey and life.

Writings:

Poem for Robin Williams

Why? (A Poem)

Crumble Down (a poem)

Stay (a Poem)

Windmill 

Connecting with a Character (write-up)

Videos:

Connecting with a Character

I just recorded a video that talks about connecting with a character. I had written everything out, but I did not memorize what I wrote so the video is a bit different. I wanted to make sure I shared both though, because I believe they both have value.

First here is what I wrote. The video is below the write up.

The steps towards my goals I want to talk about is connecting with a character. It is something that I believe an actor has to do to portray a character justly. Something needs to snap in place and you the actor has to feel right with the character you have to fully get the character you are portraying.

I have struggled with this as you can see in my precious videos or at least I can see it in the stated songs and poetry readings I’ve done. Something just wasn’t clicking, the character I was trying be were just words. They had no life to them.

Well this week at my improv group a character clicked with me. I really feel like I did the character justice even if it was a silly improv game. I still made that connection, which has been a while since I could say that.

Thinking about it I wonder if I just haven’t realized it at improv before or if it’s growth. Either way it is a boost of confidence for me and reassurance that I can act. I just need to find the character in the words and figure out how to bring the scripted ones to life.

 

Change (A free styling poem)

poetry

Where are the people like me?
Who can just sit and be
Where are the people who want to change the world
with their words and their actions?
I ask and I search
for I need to learn how.

How do I stand when I want to shrink?
How do I stare down problems instead of blink?
Where are the people who want to change the world
with their words and their actions?
One day I will know I will know
I just need to breath and take steps.

Does this search make me weak?
Because it is strength that I seek?
No, I am searching for the people
that want to change the world
with their words and their actions?
I’m searching for knowledge
and I’m looking for change

So I just found a few poets on YouTube that talked straight from the heart. The channels I found them on were Button Poetry and Poet nation. I was moved and wanted to write. I just reread this poem and it seems like their voices bled through.

What do you think? Let me know and thank you for reading.

Info On My YouTube Intro

Yesterday in between serving at my church I recorded an introduction video for YouTube. I realize that I will need to record this video again, but it is something at least.

I almost did not do it, then I almost did not get a chance to edit it. I had a million excuses not to, but then a quiet nudge reminded me that if I did not record this video it would be the first week (with the exception of my vacation week) that I would miss a recording since I started that goal. I was tired from waking up early, did not have anything really prepared, then my camera died before I was really finish.

Still I edited it together the best I could and uploaded it to YouTube. I watched it again to make sure that I was comfortable in publishing it and you know what it’s not as bad as I thought. However, I want to know what you think. Is it entertaining or informational? Does it make you want to know more or at least pay a bit of attention to my channel?

Here is the video, let me know what you think.