Blog on Vlogs

by tiffanyLife, my creative self, other updatesPosted on No Comments

In November 2018 I started to do weekly vlogs. They are short unedited videos of how my week went, lessons I’m learning, or random ramblings. They are not planned out and are not high quality, but they are fun to do and hopefully helpful.

I started them, because I wanted to have a presence on youtube. I also wanted to get into the habit of publishing weekly videos.

One aspect of my dream/ ideal life is to be comfortable in front of the camera and to do promotional videos for my projects.

I had 2 options to make this aspect of my ideal life a reality.

The first was to wait until I had time to plan and edit videos. Time that may never come.

The second option was to make time and start where I was. I can start with what I can do now and grow on that.

One thing I’ve learned by going down the second path is that I have to fight with myself. Some weeks the video isn’t perfect. I’ve looked at the thumbnails and I’ve noticed the lighting isn’t great. Most weeks I also don’t like an aspect of my appearance or how I sound.

If I was doing this for the views or an outside factor I would have stopped after the first few videos.

The wonderful thing is that I’m not doing this for the views. This is something I’m doing for myself. It is practice and habit forming.

I have noticed that I’m frequently giving advice and sharing the life lessons I’m learning. It is turning into a verbal version of DreamWard Bound. I am okay with that and enjoying sharing what I’m learning. (I have found a passion for advice giving).

Here are a couple more videos for you to get an idea of what I’m talking about. I hope you enjoy.

Where Am I? – DreamWard Bound

by tiffanyDreamward bound, LifePosted on No Comments

dreamward bound logo for where am I

I started this DreamWard Bound series almost 5 years ago. A lot has changed with the series and in my life, since then. My creative life has bounced from the foreground of my focus to the back burner and back up front.

What I focus on in my creative life has bounced around, also. Even my artistic purpose has morphed into something new.

My creative focus has changed, because the close I get to my ideal life the more I learn about myself and my true passions. I’m still not living my ideal life, but I am learning more about it.

In learning about my true passions I have added and changed my artistic theme and purpose. My theme now is ‘joyfully fun creations.’ I’m trying to keep most of my art joyful and/or fun. Sometimes I will still step away from my theme. This is mostly seen with poetry and other writings.

Having a theme to focus on has helped with my art and creating a solid body of work that has the same light, joyful feeling and style to it.

This theme/ style has carried into my memoir that I almost have completed. The book has been taking up a lot of my creative energy for the past few years, which is why this blog has been so sporadic. I have high hopes for it in both publishing success and keeping my new artist theme. I worked long and hard on it, so hopefully it is good. It’ll be very me at least.

I have also started to do more digital art work and post them for sale on Redbubble. I’m having fun creating lettering art and silly characters to share. I will be giving Redbubble at least 1 post of its own, if not more, in the near future.

I am also planning on writing more blogs and making sure this site is up to date on all my creative happenings, so stay tuned.

To Those Who Struggle Visual poetry picture

To Those Who Struggle (A Poem)

by tiffanymy creative self, Poetry, Poetry PortfolioPosted on No Comments

 

I see the beauty that you call ugly,
The scars of the past
healed by your own actions,
the love for self
that you think needs to hide.
In your eyes
I see the stories
ashamed to be told;
the climb from rock bottom
conquering the ugly side of self
cleaning your soul.
I see your struggles staring back at me
and all I can say,
“You are loved.”
You can connect with me.
I see the pain behind your eyes,
but you are courageous and strong.
You have survived this long.
Now with serenity
You can attempt to thrive
and beyond your beauty
beyond your strength,
I plead you to know
You are loved.

 

Photo by Anton Darius | @theSollers on Unsplash

Want More?

If you would like to read more of my poetry please take a look at my portfolio or watch a few of my poetry readings.

Winter Before Spring ( A Poem)

by tiffanymy creative self, PoetryPosted on No Comments

Winter Before Spring a poem

I await the spring
trapped in a winter cage.
The snow surrounds me,
in the darkness of my mind,
waiting for a spark of passion
to burn through winter’s gelidity.

I await a new life,
the awaken life,
the freed life,
that comes in the spring;
that sweet release.
Yes, I await spring.

This poem was writing on March 3rd, 2014 and I only lightly edited it. I hope you enjoyed it.

Want More?

If you would like to read more of my poetry please take a look at my portfolio. You can also watch a few of my poetry readings.

Chapters of Life – DreamWard Bound

by tiffanyDreamward bound, Life, Non-fiction and Articles PortfolioPosted on No Comments

Every few years my life changes. Each change is the start of a new chapter and a new part of my epic story. Most of the time it also comes with a change in location, but not always.

I try to prepare for each change in my life the best I can. I look at it like almost like a new story. What will the plot be? What new characters may I encounter? What will the theme or message be for this chapter of my life? Each time my life changes I think I answer these questions, but God or life always has at least one different answer. The changes are never fully what I expected.

This chapter in my life is like the others. It is not what I expected.

My goal for this chapter is to pursue my ideal life, my passions, and God’s will for my life.

At the moment I am being torn down in negative areas of my personality, struggling with my motivation, and I’m learning to be more flexible in multiple areas of my life. It is a trying point in my life. I do not want to face the areas of myself that I don’t like and should change. It is not easy to let things go that annoy me or frustrate me.

I do know that the reward for going through all this will be worth it. I will hopefully rid myself of the parts of me I do not like and become more flexible with things that don’t actually matter in the long run of things. I’ll be a better version of myself and living a better version of my life.

Also, although it is tough I am still less stressed and not emotionally drained each night. It is a better life for myself already.

Plus, I can actually have a full day to rest, which is a new thing and one I’m still relearning how to do. It is strange that stopping and relaxing is hard for someone. It seems like it should be easy to do, but I’ve spent years only really stopping on vacations. If I was not on vacation I had something to do; I had something to create or a to-do list item to check off. Now I have a day for that stuff and a day to stop and take care of myself. I still want to keep going and going, but I know we all have to take a break now and again, so that is what I’m doing. I will learn how to do it well eventually.

 

Not A Normal High-school (Journey To Me)

by tiffanyJourney To Me, Life, Real LifePosted on No Comments
Not A Normal High-school (Journey To Me)

When I was a kid I wanted to become a vet. I loved animals and wanted to be their doctor. My grandpa was a vet and I grew up across the street from my uncles’ pig farm. Plus, my family always had a bunch of animals. I was surrounded by animals and loved it.

I was so sure I wanted to be a vet that I went to an agricultural high-school that had majors. For half the day we would take normal classes like English, Math, and History. The other half of the day would be spent in our majors. Freshmen had to take classes in every major, but at the end of the year, you picked your top three majors. I knew at the start of going to that school, like most, what major I wanted. I wanted to be a small animal science major. My second choice was large animal science, and I’m not sure what I put as my third choice. I did get into my first-choice major and was thrilled.

Having A Major in High School

Each year the major had a combination of a standard book or class learning and hands-on learning. I don’t remember exactly what we learned during the lecture-style classes, but I do remember the hands-on learning.

Sophomore year we learned about small animal husbandry and how to care for the different animals. We had bunnies, guinea pigs, hamsters, rats, a reptile room, and birds.

Junior year we learned about grooming and I believe aquariums. One year we had to fill an aquarium and make sure we didn’t overpopulate it along with keeping the PH balanced.

Senior year we learned vet tech. Towards the end of the semester, we even assisted in a few spays and neuters.

During my senior year, I also participated in a work-release program, where I went to a zoo and helped the zookeepers. After my normal classes were done for the day I would drive to the zoo and take care of the different animal exhibits. It was such a great experience.

Deciding My Future

When I was applying to colleges though I questioned if becoming a vet was something I really wanted to do. I did look at and apply to some schools that had animal science degrees. I also looked at and applied to schools with a theater degree. When the time came to decide I went to college for theater.

From time to time I wonder what my life would be like if I chose the other path. Would I have been happy as a vet? How would I have changed if I made that choice?

It is an intriguing thought exercise, but only a thought exercise. If I went down that other career path I would not be who I am. I would not have the friends that have shaped me or the adventures we’ve been on.

I am glad my high-school experience was the one I had, but I am also glad I chose to have a creative life. That is what a truly blessed life is, being glad for the experiences of your past and where you are now.

Want More?

I have more stories that show how I became who I am. They are in the Journey to Me series. I also have stories specifically about God and of course, I wrote a book about my views and experiences with Love called To Love.

My Writing Life (Journey To Me)

by tiffanyJourney To Me, Life, Real LifePosted on No Comments
My Writing Life (Journey To Me)

I usually start the story of my creative life with dance class and then go into my experiences with musical theater. It’s easy for me to gloss over my early writing experience.

There are three reasons I do this. The first reason is that although my grammar and spelling were not great creative writing came naturally to me. I don’t remember any lessons about how to write poetry or short stories in elementary school or early middle school. However, I do remember writing a story when I was 10 about a 10-year-old girl.

The second reason for never focusing on my early writing life is because I never felt it was important. It was always just something I did. I hardly ever shared my stories with people. Since I didn’t share my writing I never celebrated that part of my creativity. The theater was what I celebrated and did so publicly. The writing I did was a private thing.

The third reason is my confidence in my writing was low. Sure I wrote creative things constantly, but I was never amazing in English or spelling classes. I was an average student when it came to writing assignments. Grammar and spelling are not my strong suit. I still struggle with spelling certain words, and will reread sentences to make sure they are correct. Why would I talk or share something I wasn’t good at?

The thing is whether I’m good at it or not writing is a big important part of me. It is like talking to me; I may mispronounce words or not be as eloquent as others in my speech, but it is how I communicate. It is on aspect that makes me who I am.

There is increasingly more comfortable with that aspect of me. I am a writer and will describe myself as such.

I have come along way in my writing life and now I love sharing my writing. It may not be the best, but my writing is truthfully me. I would not have it any other way.

Want More?

II have more stories that show how I became who I am. They are in the Journey to Me series. I also have stories specifically about God and of course, I wrote a book about my views and experiences with Love called To Love.

Leap Towards My Dreams – DreamWard Bound

by tiffanyDreamward bound, LifePosted on No Comments
leap-towards-my-dreams-dreamward-bound

It is April; only the fourth month of this year, and already it has been a life changing year for me.

At the end of 2017 I decided that I would make a major change to my life. I needed to share up my life in order to truly pursue my dreams.

The decision I made was to leave my full time job in order to work towards my ideal life. I never meant to stay there as long as I had, but it was safe and seemed comfortable. However,  my unneeded stress was growing and the enjoyment of the actual work was shrinking. I realized it had become just a paycheck and if I was to work for just a paycheck there are less stressful jobs closer to where I live.

In fact, before I even left the full-time job I started a new part-time job with my church. I am now my church’s admin. That job started in January of this year and I left my full-time job at the end of February.

At the end of February, the Tuesday after my last day, I went on a 2-week mission trip to South Africa. I got back mid-March and had to adjust to this new amazing chapter in my life.

I am excited to see what new adventure lay in front of me and what opportunities await me. Whatever my future holds it will be worth the leap because for the first time in a very long time I feel like I’ve taken a significant step towards my ideal life.

I am truly dreamward bound.

Want More?

In 2019 I retired my DreamWard Bound Series. As of 2020, I have a few other series and a Youtube channel. I also have published my book To Love, which is for sale on Amazon.

DreamWard Bound- Flying

by tiffanyDreamward boundPosted on No Comments

Note: There was a delay in publishing this blog.

As I write I’m 34,005 ft high. I’m flying back to California and anxiety is rising. I feel uncomfortable energy pulsing through my body into my mind. It touches my heart. There is a need to get up, to move, to do something besides sitting still.

My life is returning to me after being on vacation and cementing the process of leaping off a metaphoric cliff that I’ve been staring at for years.

I’m leaving my well paying job with good benefits to pursue my dreams. This is a big step on the path towards my dreams and it feels very real and giant.

This leap of faith I’m facing does not seem logical to me at this moment, but I know it is right. I know I need to leave the office job and start living the life I actually am suppose to live.

The unknown still frightens  me.

It is an excited time in my life and I am happy that I am dreamward bound, even if there is fearful energy trying to take control. I won’t let it though, too many great opportunities lay ahead of me. I just have to remember to breathe and remind myself that I’m worth following my dreams.

An Ordinary Life? (Journey To Me)

by tiffanyJourney To Me, Non-fiction and Articles Portfolio, Real LifePosted on No Comments
an ordinary life Journey to me

I’m reading a book that has brought up living an ordinary life. In the book, an ordinary life is a bad thing. The author views it as boring and as if the person living that life is asleep. They’re not really living. For me, an ordinary life would feel the same way. I fell into a somewhat ordinary life and it suffocated me. I lost part of me.

Unlike the other author, I can see that an ordinary, quiet life that is similar to those on television may be ideal. I can see how certain people can be happy settling down, working a stable job, and simply living life.

Ordinary does not fit who I am at my core. Even when my life is primarily ordinary I look for the extraordinary. I need to keep my eyes open to the uncommon and I am grateful for those times.

Living A Unique life

Living an unique life isn’t all about traveling the world, going on strange adventures late at night, and meeting one of a kind characters. More often than not it is little stories that are not forced or expected and one of a kind routines that are all your own.

My life strays from ordinary every Saturday I spend writing my novel and the nights I spend on my visual art pieces. It becomes unique when I have to test my church’s worship leader that I will be late to serving as the sound board operator, because my landlord’s pop-belly pig is loose and trying to find non-extant treats in my bag. Also, most people don’t drive slowly calling for the same pig that found her way out of her  pen a second time, so that the pig would get back to the house.

I do travel cross country often and meet one of a kind characters even more frequently. When your eyes are open though, you’ll see everyone is a one of a kind character and we all travel, even if most of the time it’s in your mind.

My life is not for everyone, but it is perfect for me. I am grateful for my uncommon life and hope you are grateful for whatever type of life you’re living.

Want More?

If you would like to read more about my Journey To Me there is a full series on the topic. I also have more portfolio writing available too. If you want to get to know me better you can do so on Instagram , Twitter, or Facebook.