Every few years my life changes. Each change is the start of a new chapter and a new part of my epic story. Most of the time it also comes with a change in location, but not always.
I try to prepare for each change in my life the best I can. I look at it like almost like a new story. What will the plot be? What new characters may I encounter? What will the theme or message be for this chapter of my life? Each time my life changes I think I answer these questions, but God or life always has at least one different answer. The changes are never fully what I expected.
This chapter in my life is like the others. It is not what I expected.
My goal for this chapter is to pursue my ideal life, my passions, and God’s will for my life.
At the moment I am being torn down in negative areas of my personality, struggling with my motivation, and I’m learning to be more flexible in multiple areas of my life. It is a trying point in my life. I do not want to face the areas of myself that I don’t like and should change. It is not easy to let things go that annoy me or frustrate me.
I do know that the reward for going through all this will be worth it. I will hopefully rid myself of the parts of me I do not like and become more flexible with things that don’t actually matter in the long run of things. I’ll be a better version of myself and living a better version of my life.
Also, although it is tough I am still less stressed and not emotionally drained each night. It is a better life for myself already.
Plus, I can actually have a full day to rest, which is a new thing and one I’m still relearning how to do. It is strange that stopping and relaxing is hard for someone. It seems like it should be easy to do, but I’ve spent years only really stopping on vacations. If I was not on vacation I had something to do; I had something to create or a to-do list item to check off. Now I have a day for that stuff and a day to stop and take care of myself. I still want to keep going and going, but I know we all have to take a break now and again, so that is what I’m doing. I will learn how to do it well eventually.