More DreamWard Bound Means More Work

success

I was going to go to BJJ training today. I started to wake up early enough. I actually thought I didn’t turn on my alarm, because it seemed later than it was. I wanted to go, too. I need to get back into a routine with training. It would have been really great to move my body and feel great about myself. However, Saturdays are my only day I get sleep in and relax in the morning. I also realized I have a full 8 hour day of editing, writing, and producing, well setting up the first things for my production company.

This work is good. I am actually taking major steps towards my dreams. I can see things coming together. Really, it is the beginning of things coming together. I am still far away from every real dream I have. And, it is also a lot of work to get to my dreams. I just have to keep reminding myself that it will be worth it. 8 hrs of work on Saturdays, weeknight work sessions, commuting to my day job, and working 8 hrs at my day job will be worth living my dreams.

I also have made a decision to start researching different hosting platforms and ad services. This way I can actually make profit with this site in hopes that I can partly support myself with this site. I am also looking into creating an online store on this site, so that you can buy my artwork easily. Basically, I am looking for different income revenues in order that I can free up my time to do more creative things. Freedom seems a long way away. Still, success is made up of little steps in the right direction.

Yes, I have a lot of work ahead of me and I am procrastinating by looking around the internet. I mean, I have looked for YouTube videos about the top hosting companies and microphones for better sound quality in my videos. I have also been looking at my Facebook and Twitter to see if there is any new interactions and talking with an actor friend. It’s not like I went around looking at cat pictures or goofy videos. Still, I do need to get to work on editing, writing, and producing.

I’m going to go do that now. Here is some other stuff that I did this week.

Pain (a Poem)

Let Me Live (A Poem)

I Am A Hurt Bagel

Writing Prompts

Forcing Myself To Be DreamWard Bound

success

The journey to my dreams seem long today. Maybe it’s because I am looking at how far I have to go. Maybe it’s because work was stressful this week. Maybe it’s because I did not sleep well last night. I did drink 2 cups of caffeinated tea later in the evening. Maybe it’s something else that I am unaware of. Whatever the reason my journey feels like it is really just starting out.

I did work last night on my future plan and I am trying to figure out extra income, so that I can actually save significant amounts of money. I want to be able to meet with an acting coach for guidance and to figure out the best plan of action. I also want to be able to afford some acting classes. I also want to take a year off to focus solely on acting and creative stuff.  It doesn’t look like my novel will be published any time soon and even when it is I don’t know how it will sell.

I do know that I have a list of shorter writing projects that I can put together. One that I am working on is a kids book taken from one of my short stories. I am going to sketch the 1st draft today. Another idea is to put together a collection of poetry and creating art for each of them. The art would become the different pages of the book with the poetry incorporated on the page. There are a few more ideas, but those are the two I am focusing on at this moment.

I am also still working on figuring out a web-series. I have gotten as far as  knowing 3 character types I want and the set up of the episodes. I want at least 1 more character and not sure what exactly I want the ‘activity’ to be. I also have to think about locations. I mean if I decide a play rehearsal is the way to go, that would require a theater. If it is a role-playing game, that would require a home or something that could pass as a place where nerds would gather.

As you see there is still a lot to think about with the web-series. There is also a lot to think about with my writing side projects. There is also the whole acting career plan. That is actually turning into a life plan. I think I found out why my dreams feel so far away. I am actually looking at how big they are and all the little steps I am going to be taking now. I am also working hard towards them with planning and creating.  Yeah, I am either heading for a break through or a mental break down.

While I figure out where I am going please take a minute to read where I’ve been or watch. I did publish a video this week. Any ways here is the list of things I shared this week.

Choice and Action

Black Clad Assassin

Giving Art

Second-Hand (A Poem)

Weekly Writing Prompt (#28)

 

Oh, and I also published a Goal Getters onto my personal channel.

An Early DreamWard Bound

success

Now that I have spent most of my day off from work being distracted by the internet and random stuff I think I can sit down and write about my week. I just have to remember what I did this week and what made it a journey towards my dreams.

I did write more than normal and Sunday I spent the day reading about God. Besides that I don’t think anything that interesting happened in my life this week.

I have read more about God and am trying to figure out what would be the best path for me. That seems to be the most important thing in my life now. It is good that I actually ordered my goals right this time. This goal is my number one goal both on paper and actions.

I feel my relationships growing, although I am pretty sure I didn’t say I love you everyday. I still am focusing in on the important relationships in my life and I hope the people in my life can tell.

I have worked on my book for 3 hours since making the 30 hours in 30 days goal. It’s not as far as I feel like I should be, but it is something. In those 3 hours I have also gotten farther than I thought I would.

I just rearranged my last two goals, because I am realizing that my acting and writing career/ passion trumps my physical goals. I do have a plan or experiment to boost my health and fitness, but acting and writing take up a bigger aspect of my thought life. Especially, lately I have been thinking of projects that would help me boost my audience base, income, or both.

One thing that I am working on is getting my visual art or sell-able stuff up on eBay. I also want to make more masks and post those on eBay, also. However, the masks will be after I get my paintings up on eBay. This is mostly because I already have paintings I can sell, while I only actually own one of my masks and it is not for sale.

I guess that’s all I have to say today about my journey. I’m simply taking small steps and coming up with ideas at this point. One day I will be able to run towards my dreams and take giant leaps of faith, but today I am only able to put one foot in front of the other.

The steps I took towards my dreams are as follows:

A Whispered Promise

A Pondering Poem

In This Moment

Dark Den

Weekly Writing Prompts

 

My End Goals And Dreams

dreamer

I mentioned in this week’s DreamWard Bound post that I was going to sit down and revise not only my goals but my dreams or end goals. I wanted to start from scratch and figure out where I actually want to go from where I am.

I have done this at least one other time and I do not believe I shared the entire thing that I wrote about my goals and dreams. I have big dreams and sometimes I wonder if I share them if that will hurt my  chances of getting them. Well, more and more I am realizing that dreams are just goals without actionable steps being taken. My dreams might be larger than my life, but I do have small steps to walk towards them. I am creating goals for my life to bring me to my dreams.

Since my ideas of dreams and goals have changed, I would like to share with you my end goal and what I imagine my perfect life to be. I am not saying that my life will be perfect. It will just be perfectly suited for me. I know there will be hard times and sacrifices that I must make along the way, but it will be worth it.

Here you go.

Goals and Dreams:

Where do I start? In my dreams I am a happy artist.

My main focus is writing and acting. I wake up early most days and work long hours when I am on set. I am warm and friendly to both cast and crew. People Enjoy working with me. I work on either faith-based of sci-fi/ fantasy based movies or television shows portraying strong women, dorky side kicks, independent women or other roles that break false images of women or Christians. My main focus with acting is to shine the light of God’s love and the strength he gives his daughters. I want mainstream media to stop putting down or giving a false image of Christian women.

I want to be a part of a movement where we bring Christian morals back to entertainment and art. I want to help people see that Christianity is about loving each other and God’s love. I want to show and teach people that religion for religion’s sake is wrong, but a loving relationship with God is the way to live. He is the one who can save the world and he is the reason for love. Jesus came to the world not to condemn it but to save it and the world should know that. I want to help the world learn that kind of love.

Sorry for that little rant. Let me continue with the other areas of my future life.

I have a fan base that feels comfortable around me and who I actually help. They find support along with a distant friend in me.

I am more than an actor though. I also write and publish books. I have my blog, but my books are my main writing focus and means of income as far as writing is concerned.

I also work towards crossing 1 item off my bucket list each year.

When I am not writing or acting I want to be training BJJ or even another martial art. I want to be able to learn from every aspect of my life and use it towards acting, writing or any other art form I may take up. BJJ helps me prepare for fight scenes and give me confidence and friendship. My end goal with BJJ is to be physically healthy, able to protect myself, and perhaps even become a black belt.

For my family I imagine that I am close and talk often to both my real family and my church family. I know that they will always be there for me and they support me the best way they can. I want to be able to support them also with the needs they have. I also want to become as open as possible with each and every family member, creating relationships with no walls.

I know that I can do all this because I am focused on God. He is the only way that I will stay on track. I will grow my relationship with him daily either by prayer, podcasts, books, sermons, audio-books or conversations directed towards God.

My goals that I have are as follows:

Spiritual: In order to focus on God more fully I will not watch tv or YouTube, unless with friends or it’s teaching on God, for the next 3 months (until September 13th) and with that extra time I will listen to a podcast or read a Biblical based book. This time will be focused on growing my understanding about God and exploring where he might be leading me.

 Relationship: I will tell one person that I love them every day for the next month (until July 13th) and try to start a conversation with them. I am doing this to strengthen my relationships and spread my love.

Physical: I am going to train BJJ at least 3 days and do bed-room workouts 2 other days every week. In addition I am going to eat 1 organic meal a week and at least 1 healthy meal every day. I will do this for the next month (until July 13th).

Editing: I will spend 30 hrs in the next 30 days editing my book (July 13th), keeping in mind that my new deadline for the second draft is November 1st.

Acting/ Writing: I will write 1 monologue a week and record at least 1 monologue a month. I will post every monologue that I record to YouTube to help grow my audience and receive feedback. I will do this for 3 months (until September 13th).

A Quarter Of The Way To 100

ocean walk 192

A while back I gave myself a challenge and it was a few days, maybe a week or so before I actually accepted the challenge but I did. I mentioned in the post where I shared the challenge that I was going to be keeping a log about the journey this challenge would be. I wasn’t sure at the time how I was going to do it. I just knew that I wanted to be able to share real thoughts that I had through this process. This was to both share with people about my journey and goal achieving, but also to help me. I wanted to motivate myself to keep on doing this challenge.

I decided when I started to actually do the short work out that I would keep track on a piece of paper tapped to my bathroom mirror. I also tapped a page above that and with each tally mark I wrote one line. Some days I squeezed in as much as I could others I just wrote 3 large words. I want to share that log with you now.

  1. It does not matter when you start, just that you start.
  2. Starting is the hardest and scariest part of the journey but needed. (I also wrote see twitter for 2.2.15, which says, “One day I will be able to submit someone in a fight, today is not that day, but it was a learning day closer”)
  3. Change, goals, and dreams don’t happen overnight, work towards them day after day.
  4. Convincing yourself you’re worth the work is work but worth it.
  5. Little by little and step by step is what it takes to see massive changes.
  6. By pushing yourself to do something you don’t think you can do you may find out you can.
  7. Fighting for tomorrow mean giving up you’re today. Also there is 2 parts of you the cannot and the can learn how to make the can side win. (That was after a 2 am workout, because I stayed out late with my friends)
  8. If you know how you learn, you will learn more. (This was a class day.)
  9. Working for what you want will pay off if you are constant.
  10. You know you’ve found your thing when the pain is worth it. (This was followed by a side note of  “yay, chokes. :-)”)
  11. Sometimes you just need to take way the options, make your step towards success mandatory.
  12. Starting is the worst, it’s hard and sucks, but shows you what you can do. Stick with it. You got this.
  13. I may be tired; I may not be clever, but I am doing what I set out to do.
  14. Your goals should be fun, educational and worth the pain. (This was another class day.)
  15. Making a goal a need makes it easier to do, even if it’s by force.
  16. Friends should make the goals easier. (This should be a class day note.)
  17. It’s getting easier.
  18. You know you’re doing something different and hard when you start to question seeming random choices in your life.
  19. I guess some days you just do and not learn.Doing is valuable too
  20. Some days you just have to make time. It’s worth it.
  21. Pushing yourself forward is just walking on a path or journey towards your goals. (This was a class day, also.)
  22. You can do anything as long as you work for it.
  23. People will notice your efforts. Keep on to show yourself your efforts. (This was a class day, I  know because people are starting to see my efforts in class. I don’t yet see my improvements, though. I still feel like a newbie who knows nothing.)
  24. Strength is worked at not given.
  25. You can still work even if you are tired. It will be more of an accomplishment.
  26. Sometimes realizing it’s the last part of the day makes the rest worth it.

You can see some days I was stereotypical in my motivation, other days it was more aimed towards keeping track of my main thought. I hope you enjoyed it and let me know what you think.

DreamWard Bound (November 15, 2014)

success

This week was a stressful week at work with later hours. It burnt me out most days and by the end of the week I was done with people and anything productive. I did not go to my improv group on Thursday or do anything Friday night. Instead both nights I stayed home and vegged out with YouTube, Pinterest, and Netflix.

I was able to get a lot done with my writing and videos the first part of the week though. I was able to record Step 7 of Goal Getters, which means it’s all tips now. I also recorded a monologue and an about me video.

The monologue was Dory’s monologuee from Finding Nemo. It has been my favorite one so far. It was fun and a character type that I would love to do more of. Of course it seems more people are watching the classic monologues from plays. That could be because they were the ones done first, so they have had more time to get more views. It seems though people are still watching them and as long as they are watching my videos I will be happy.

No was far as writing goes I wrote my 5 creative posts. One was about being a bagel, which will become a series and then a video series. The video series will happen when I figure out how I want to do it.

Also, during this week this blog reached 152 followers. I almost did an actual happy dance, but I was at work so only let out a tiny wiggle.

I believe that is all the news about my week. Here is the list that tells you what I did.

Step 7 (video)

Back Story (video)

Dory’s Monologue (video)

Magic Machine (A Poem)

For A Second Time I am a Bagel (short story)

Come and See (A Poem)

Sale (A Poem)

Fingers (Poem)

I really find value in seeing the list written out. I did eight things this week. That means I took eight steps towards my dream this week.

Connecting with a Character

I just recorded a video that talks about connecting with a character. I had written everything out, but I did not memorize what I wrote so the video is a bit different. I wanted to make sure I shared both though, because I believe they both have value.

First here is what I wrote. The video is below the write up.

The steps towards my goals I want to talk about is connecting with a character. It is something that I believe an actor has to do to portray a character justly. Something needs to snap in place and you the actor has to feel right with the character you have to fully get the character you are portraying.

I have struggled with this as you can see in my precious videos or at least I can see it in the stated songs and poetry readings I’ve done. Something just wasn’t clicking, the character I was trying be were just words. They had no life to them.

Well this week at my improv group a character clicked with me. I really feel like I did the character justice even if it was a silly improv game. I still made that connection, which has been a while since I could say that.

Thinking about it I wonder if I just haven’t realized it at improv before or if it’s growth. Either way it is a boost of confidence for me and reassurance that I can act. I just need to find the character in the words and figure out how to bring the scripted ones to life.

 

DreamWard Bound: now with a plan

I am sure that if you read my blog you have noticed 1. I’m a dreamer and 2. I have not been totally sure what I am doing or know what steps I should take to achieve my dreams. I really felt it this week. I kept asking myself what was I do? What is really going on in my life? Two things helped me not to freak out one was a reminder from a youtube video, the other was a reminder from myself in the form of a old journal entries.  In the video Felicia Day talked about writing but really any dream/ creative talent. Creativity takes practice. The old journal entries simply reminded me of who I was and how far I came (which will be another blog).

With these reminders on my mind today,I spent the day focused on figuring how what success means to me, what dreams I want to make reality, and what I want my future to be. I did this by going through Donna Partow’s “21 Quick And Easy Ways To Make A Real Change In Your Life.” It is a short little 7 step e-book that use to be for free on her site. I believe that offer is over and she took the book down. It is a good simple book that can be a useful start.

By writing out my current goals and planing my daily schedule around it. I should have more interesting blogs to post and more writing to share with you as the days and weeks go by. First thing is first; what are my goals.

1.) I am going to read more than I watch television by reading a chapter in my Bible once a day and by reading at least a page in another book. For every chapter of the Bible I read and every page I read in my other book I will be rewarded with 10 minutes of television, with the exception of comic book, that ratio is 1 page = 1 minute.

2.) I am going to fit into my plaid pants by working out 15 minutes a day and 1 hour on Saturdays over the next 60 days. My reward will be a new outfit. – I want to draw attention to the fact that I am not trying to lose weight, simply trying to get into a healthier shape.

3.) I am going to strengthen my creativity by either writing or practicing a monologue for 10 minutes a day. After 2 months of doing this daily with 3 exceptions/ sick-days I will reward myself with a new video camera or editing software.

4.) I am going to post at least one video and one blog a week onto the internet (more specifically this blog) for accountability, feedback, tracking goals and growth and to find support that I other wise may not have found. Every 6 months of  posting 1 video and 1 post, so that it adds up to be 45 posts I will reward myself with a weekend free of responsibilities.

5.) I am going to finish the 2nd draft of my novel in 1 year (May 3, 2015) by working on it for 2 hrs a week. I will reward myself with a party with my friends.

 

I have plans, tracking tools, negative consequences if I don’t meet my goals, and other information that I won’t bore you with. I do not think you would enjoy reading more lists (if you do let me know . I will share). I also plan on doing a video tomorrow to go along with this post. We shall see how that turns out. I may decide just to paint instead. Either way stay tuned for a video tomorrow.

Life's poem

Life pushes,

it pulls;

whirls and rushes

like a dance

every step wishes

changing and turning.

Switching the rules

swapping the characters

redirecting the plot.

Once settled it’s time to rush and whirl

Time to chase another dream

find another way

wish for another day

because why live one life

when you can dream up twenty?