A Sunday Afternoon's DreamWard Bound

successAlthough I typically try to write these on Saturdays, I had no motivation to do anything yesterday. I also did not feel like I was dreamward bound. I basically was a Debby downer for myself and the worst part is that I gave into it. I gave in to the lack of energy, lack of motivation, and lack of belief in myself.

It is a good thing that today is a new day. Today I am focusing on the fact that I live among people who love me and support me. I actually did a bunch of creative things this week and did editing work on my novel.

I am overdue to revise my goals, which may be the reason for the feeling that I am not heading towards my dreams and my dream life. I am happy with my life for the most part, I just know that it could be better in some areas. More and more I realize one area that could improve is my work life. I would love to just write, paint, and act all day long. I am a far way off from that life though. I just need to keep working on my artistic skills and be open to share my art with the world. One day I will be living my dream life and when that day comes all this struggling getting there will be worth it.

Reviewing and revising my goals will be helpful in that it will remind me of my dreams and where I actually want to be in my life. Revising my goals is something to do after I publish this post, though.

I mean I don’t have much else to say, except this week felt a little crazy. It was all work and being a busy bee type of thing. Nothing too interesting in the details of the week.

I guess I can finish this post and go revise the goals. I will leave you with the list of things I did this week.

Asking a question and then ramblings about Love (A Vlog

)

Telling My Dream 

Where I write

Friendship (A Poem)

Weekly Writing Prompt

Here Is A DreamWard Bound Post

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Hello, reader.  I am yet again writing this later than I like. I blame the wonderful naps I took and the events I had this weekend. It started with 2 BJJ classes on Friday after work, which I followed by sushi, ice-cream, and a movie. The movie was with friends, but the sushi and ice-cream was some apparently needed me-time. It was really great to do what I wanted and enjoy spending time out and about with no one else.

On Saturday I had another BJJ class, so I’m kind of sore. I then got ready as fast I could and went to a The Gravity’s show. It was a great show and the band rocked it. The band is filled with talent musician and if you can ever listen to their stuff (cover songs) I suggest you do. Plus, they know how to be performers, so seeing one of their shows is always fun. After that fun show and having class I opened this post to write this but got as far as adding the picture before realizing I needed a nap.

Today I went to church, served, and then out for a sushi lunch with friends. Lunch was followed by another nap. I woke up and did not want to get out of bed, so now I’m writing this post around dinner time. Still, I am writing this post and that is all that really matters.

Of course, now I cannot remember what I did this week. This weekend totally erased last week I guess, which is good. I will start this coming week refreshed and with a clean slate.

I do know that between eating right and having 2.5 hours of BJJ on Friday I am on the downward trend with my weight. I started at 183 and now am at 176.

I am also listening to at least Air1 at least going to my carpool, which is my 10 minutes of listening/ learning about God. This week since I am driving in by myself I do plan on listening to audio books for the 45 minute (or more) drive.

As for my goal about posting 5 times a week, well I haven’t found the right schedule for that. Also it seems like I need to make a new deadline for my second draft completion for my novel. I just haven’t been able to sit and write or edit these past weeks. This is why they are goals though. I am working towards getting my second draft done and writing 5 creative posts a week.

I did write some this week, so here are the posts.

Weekly Writing prompt

Over 3/4th of the way to 100

Why Do I  Love You?

I hope you enjoy my writing.

Better Late Than Never For DreamWard Bound

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I figure writing my weekly update post is better late than not doing one. I will make it quick though, since I actually already did write this week’s post. My computer just decided that the internet wasn’t its friend though and for some reason would not save the post. It could also be the site, but more likely my computer, since its old and filled up with a bunch of different projects.

I did awesome with my God goal and listened to at least an hour of an audiobook about God centered things every day this week.  I also did pretty well with my weight/ fitness goal. I realized that I’m starting to see definition and I have lost 5 lbs since starting to actually weigh myself and try.

I didn’t do so great with editing my novel, since I was planning on doing that yesterday. Instead though I got the pleasure of staying in bed with a killer headache. Basically my Saturday was me waking up at 8 drinking a bunch of water, having breakfast and going to class with a slight headache. The Friday night ratio of whiskey to water may have been a bit off, since I had whiskey but no water the entire night of dancing. I thought I would be fine but after a full Brazilian Jit-Jitsu class I was not feeling well at all. I went home, showered, and went back to bed. I slept most of the day and then went out to a birthday dinner.  Needless to say I did not get any editing done this weekend.

I would have worked on writing or editing today, but I had another birthday party to go to after Church today. This week I should be able to write and edit. I look forward to at least one night this week sitting down working on things.  I did fix my break light this weekend, so I was productive. It’s not as productive as I usually am, but that break light has been out for months.

Now, I will leave you with the two things I posted this week. This next week should be more. At least I hope this next week I will post more.

Bury Deep

Weekly Writing Prompt

DreamWard Bound like always.

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I actually am not always dreamward bound. Some days I don’t even think about my goals. However, I feel most like myself when I am. If I have a goal, a plan and a schedule I am happiest. That is why I am happily writing this post.

I at least feel like this week went real well. I revised my goals early in the week and revised my schedule last weekend. I didn’t make every goal and did change one midweek. Still I worked towards my goals.

I should tell you what my new goals are now, before I tell you how I did with them. It might make sense to you if I told you the aim before telling you how close or far I came to the target.

My first goal is to finish my second draft of my novel by May 3rd. This has been my goal for almost a year now. I just kept saying it was a priority but not really acting like it was. I kept writing blog posts and poems. I did not actually give most of my time to it. Now I will. I have my schedule worked out, so that I am editing more. I am also going to take most of next weekend, if not all of it, and dedicate it to getting the novel done. I may even rent a hotel room in order for fewer distractions.

My next goal is the one that I actually revise twice this week. First I was going to try to read the Bible within a year again. The trouble I found with that was that I actually did not pick up the Bible. It was too scary and big of a challenge. I decided it was best to change it. I wanted to focus on God, but actually focus on learning and not just reading. If I stuck with reading the Bible within a year I would not be focusing on learning about God. I would only focus on reading and reading fast enough. It would be come a chore like it had in the past and not  a joy and learning experience. So, I changed my goal to taking 10 minutes a day to learn about God. I will either pray for 10 minutes or listen to some audiobook, podcast or sermon. I may also read a book or a chapter in the Bible. This gives me more options and is not as big as a project.  After a month I will increase the amount of time I spend learning about God.

After that the next important goal is my weight/ health goal. I want to lose 30lbs by the start of next year. The main reason I want to lose this weight is to make jiu-jitsu easier and if I do compete I won’t be in the heavyweight division if I lose the 30lbs. Honestly, though I am not sure if I will end up losing 30 pounds. I want muscle and having muscle is more important to me than weighing less, so if I lose a bunch of weight and realize that I am losing muscle I’ll stop. Right now though, I want to lose 30lbs.

This goal is followed by my creative writing goal. I  want to get back up to writing 5 creative posts a week. This will include my weekly writing prompt, but I will also try to actually use the writing prompts to write more posts. That was the idea for the weekly writing prompts to start with. It was going to be inspiration for the next posts. I got busy though and my schedule was just not allowing for me to write. I want to start writing more, again. That is why my goal will be to get up to 5 posts a week, well 6 if you count my DreamWard bound posts.

Finally my last goal is to read a book a month and I mean really read. I am not going to count audio books as reading. At least I won’t count them at this time. Maybe in the future my ideas will change, but for now I want to actually read a book a month. I mean I have a years worth of real hard copies of books and even more e-books. The main focus for this goal though is to expand my knowledge base, get inspiration and learn about different author’s voices.

I think these goals will be a good mix of challenging and fun to do. I am looking forward to accomplishing them and letting you know how I am doing with them every week.

My Bad Morning (a Short Story)

My Bad Morning short story

Based on a true story.

I woke up today, not wanting to get out of bed. The reason was nothing big. I just wanted the weekend to come a day early.

My adult self woke up, and I got out of bed. I got ready and took part in my work’s fancy Friday. When you work in a company of hackers, who also have nerd tendencies, casual dress is more common than not. Most days people dress in jeans and t-shirts, but not on Friday. Friday people dress up. There is one person who appreciates fancy Fridays the most and who I believe started the tradition. It was this person’s birthday, so took part in what she enjoyed. I found my dress pants and my favorite button-up shirt. I put on my makeup and did my hair. Then I put my heels on and went out the door.

I got a latte from my favorite cafe. My day had a later than normal start, but it was going fine. It wasn’t until I got on the highway that everything stopped being fine. A loud noise erupted as if my car was driving on something. Maybe there was something stuck under my car. I got off the highway, and the sound changed a bit to more of a thud-thud sound, as if my tire was flat. It was strange since when I was on the highway it was just loud. I pulled into a grocery store’s parking lot and got out of my car. Something blew my tire with holes in all of it.

The Start Of The Tire Change

It was still okay. I was going to change a tire. How hard could it be? I had it all under control. I started by taking the spare tire out. This should be the easiest part, right? I just needed to undo the bolt and slide it out from under my car. It sounds simple, but when you are in fancy Friday attire you get determined to stay clean, and need to pull something out from under your car, things get difficult.

On top of staying clean, I did not want to get my clothes wet. It had rained the night before, and as soon as I tried to get the spare tire out, it started sprinkling. I ended up in yoga positions and weird poses just to figure out what I could do to get the tire out from under my car. After a fight and a struggle, I freed the dirty rescue tire from its cage.

Now, it was time to get the jack in place. Again, this should be easy, right? Don’t you just put it under your car and crank it up? Apparently, the answer to both those questions was ‘no.’ After the wheel did not move, but the car frame moved, I looked at my manual. It was inside in my glove compartment.

Once The Jack Was On

I went to the front of my car and saw my delicious latte sitting abandoned. I thought it best to show it some love by taking a sip. It thought it best to spill all over my car. Thankfully I did not get burned, because it was lukewarm by now. Yes, I got to enjoy one, maybe two sips of hot coffee before my tire blew and now the fight over the spare tire caused my coffee to be lukewarm.

I sighed a heavy sigh and flipped through the manual to figure out what to do with the jack. It had now started to full-out rain. Once I thought I had everything in control, people asked me if I needed help. My Pride and my confident wouldn’t let them help. I would finish this task. I know I am a woman who is looking fancy, but I can do it. Everyone should be able to change a tire.

I got the jack in place and was ready to remove the tire. Now, I just needed to get the nuts off. In the movies, they make it seem pretty easy. Plus, this is harder than it should have been already, so now the easy part should happen. I am almost done. I just need to get the tire off.

Finally Changing the Tire

Well, after a few minutes of trying to getting them off with increasing force a nice older man came over to should be a trick. He got on the wrench thing and jumped. Yes, he stood, full weight on the thing, and jumped. Awesome I know how to do it now. I thanked him, thinking that was all I needed. I just needed a tip from a stranger. He accepted the gratitude and went on his way.

In my heels, I hopped with both feet on the wrench thing. Nothing happened. I had a thought of, “Hey, I’m light.” My next thought was, “Oh my goodness, I am so weak I can’t even get this nut to loosen.” After a minute of hopping on the wrench thing, another man came and helped me. He told me to lower the jack and loosened the nuts for me.

After I finished taking the nuts off the wheel was easy to get off. My little detour was close to completion. I just needed to get the spare tire on and then drive less than a mile to the tire store. By now, though, I knew that stupid tire would not be easy. I picked it up and waited until finding the issue. The struggle was aligning the holes with the bolts. This task felt like I was trying to line up an ancient key with its keyhole. It took longer than it should have. Of course, the entire process took longer than it should have. Finally, after one more person asked to help me, which I refused on the fact that it was only the spare tire now, I could get it on.

The Ending Of The Story

I got up with my outfit still clean and one more friendly person stopped to help. It was amazing to me how many people wanted to help me. I told the guy I replaced the tire already, but I figured it wouldn’t hurt for him to make sure they were tight enough. He did and could tighten them a bit more.

I was now off to the tire store, where I was told that I need four new tires. While they were pricing the tires, I cleaned my hands and arms, which were the only things to get dirty. It was then when I decided I never wanted to change a tire again, so got all four new tires, hoping it would at least postpone the tire-changing nightmare.

It was an hour’s wait before I could go to work. I got to work. After an hour, I made myself peanut butter on toast. I was still proud of myself that I did not get any dirt on my clothes. I tell you this because after I finished with my snack, I looked down and saw that some peanut butter had dropped on my shirt along with my pants. The only thing I could do was laugh. I can change a tire while staying clean, but I can not eat and stay clean.

I hope you enjoyed reading about my morning.

Want More?

If you would like to read more short stories please check out my Portfolio or perhaps you would enjoy watching readings of my work on YouTube. Also, I post snippets of my short stories and other writings on my Instagram account and Facebook page.

Rush

poetry

I want to rush
buckle down
learn quickly,
move ahead fast,
never stopping
always hopping
never slowing
always going.
I want my days to turn to nights
and my nights to turn to extra days.
I want to skip all the steps
and get to the finish line.
Let me cross that line
let me get to where I am going
although I’m not sure where I am going.

I want to rush
skip ahead
read the last few pages
finish the ending scene,
watch the finale.
I want to stop working
stop living a life not meant for me
I want to rush ahead
to that day where this book
in the series of my life is over.
I want to skip ahead
to the to be continued screen,
wrapped in your arms – in your love.
I want to jump ahead to the end
where I am just being me
loving what I do.

Life doesn’t work that way
you cannot rush the days
and time already rushes to fade away.
Plus, the journey is
what makes the destination worth while.

Can't Hold Me Down. (a poem)

poetry

You can’t hold me down.
No you can’t control this feeling.
My energy is rising up
and it is a glorious feeling.
I can conquer my fears
and maybe even the world.
I can fly to new heights
and bring you along.
See how I soar
because I’m lighter than air.
See how I shine
it’s like day
when it is night.
No, you can’t hold me down
my energy is rising up.
It rises and rises
filling my lungs with air
filling my heart with life.

Today is going to be a wonderful day.

Here I stand (A Monologue)

writing

Here I stand. I stand on my own two feet, wishing that they were not attached, so that I could move around them and see where exactly I am. What am I doing? Where am I actually standing? And why am I standing? Still, at least I am indeed standing on my own two feet. I have the world ahead of me and I am making it on my own. Yes, look at me doing my own thing. I am living my very own adult life, alone. I have many questions and never too sure if I’m doing everything right. Most days I know I’ve done at least one major thing wrong, but still I am making it on my own. I am living this adult life, standing on my own two feet. But you know what? Some time, well most of the time I wish I wasn’t. I wish there was some sort of clear arrow pointing one way or the other. Still I guess that’s not entirely how this adult life thing works, so here I stand. I am here standing on my own two feet.

UPDATE

In November 2014 I did a recording of this monologue. I would like to share that with you know.

Blessed (A Poem)

poetry

I work all day
run errands on my free days
and I am blessed.
I see the benefits of my striving
I the fruits of my labor.

I walked down the warm beach
with the setting sun
giving off the warm happy light
telling every creature that they are loved.
I see animals playing
people loving
and families growing closer together.
I am blessed.

What did I do to earn
the beauty of the sun reflecting on the sea,
the warm crisp scene
being painted by the sun, sand and rocks
the smiling strangers who stay
and those who happily jog on by.
What could I have done
to see the sheer beauty of cliffs
as the sun turns the ordinary into a master piece
earth is a work of art
and so clearly seen
when the sun starts to hug the horizon
and glistens off the sea.
I am blessed.

I am so blessed
to be able to see
appreciating all the wonders around
and live in a world so beautiful
being able to feel warmth
and notice love.
I am so blessed
to be able to live my life.

This week's DreamWard Bound (10/25/14)

successIt’s noon and I already want to go back to bed. I don’t want to do anything productive, even though I have a bunch of productive things I need to do today. I want to be childish and throw a tantrum so that I don’t have to do it. This is actually how I’ve been for most of the week, which caused my week to drag on and on.

I just did not want to do anything this week, so I skipped the gym almost everyday and hardly worked or even thought about my goals. It seems to be time to get revive my excitement for my goals, which I will hopefully force myself to do after this post. Thankfully I do have a list of why I want my goals already started and will just add on to it. Reminding myself why I want the goals should help me push to work on them. Of course napping is sounding good, also.

Let’s get to what I actually did this week. I wrote 3 out of the 5 creative writing posts that I wanted  to write. I did record and post a monologue. I actually recorded two last Saturday but only have gotten around to posting one at this point. I also posted the fifth step in my goal getting series.

That is actually all I did for my goals. I only thought about eating right, did not go to the gym that much and  hardly talked to my family. I really was a hermit that only wanted to sleep.

Here is the list of the poems and videos that I did actually do.

Lucy’s Monologue From While you Were Sleeping (video)

What Is My Acting Style? (video)

Step 5 (video)

I Am A Dork (Poem)

Puzzle Piece (Creative Writing piece)

Time For A Time Poem (Poem)