I enjoy sharing my dreams whether they are my goals or what I dreamed about while I slept. The tag dream captures a lot of different writings.
I walk with sand on my feet
with water rushing my toes.
My eyes point down
I lose reality
picturing a warm hand to hold
contradicting the cold ocean water
happy smiles on his face
as we silently walk in companionship
joining our hearts with friendship
and learning love through our eyes.
I walk with sand on my feet
with water brushing my toes
and dream a dream
I never really wanted to be mine.
It’s noon and I already want to go back to bed. I don’t want to do anything productive, even though I have a bunch of productive things I need to do today. I want to be childish and throw a tantrum so that I don’t have to do it. This is actually how I’ve been for most of the week, which caused my week to drag on and on.
I just did not want to do anything this week, so I skipped the gym almost everyday and hardly worked or even thought about my goals. It seems to be time to get revive my excitement for my goals, which I will hopefully force myself to do after this post. Thankfully I do have a list of why I want my goals already started and will just add on to it. Reminding myself why I want the goals should help me push to work on them. Of course napping is sounding good, also.
Let’s get to what I actually did this week. I wrote 3 out of the 5 creative writing posts that I wanted  to write. I did record and post a monologue. I actually recorded two last Saturday but only have gotten around to posting one at this point. I also posted the fifth step in my goal getting series.
That is actually all I did for my goals. I only thought about eating right, did not go to the gym that much and  hardly talked to my family. I really was a hermit that only wanted to sleep.
Here is the list of the poems and videos that I did actually do.
Lucy’s Monologue From While you Were Sleeping (video)
What Is My Acting Style? (video)
Step 5 (video)
I Am A Dork (Poem)
Puzzle Piece (Creative Writing piece)
Time For A Time Poem (Poem)
This week was a productive week for me and it showed with my views, both here and on YouTube. I still have work to do to meet all my weekly goals and I am far from the daily habits I want to make, but I am getting there.
Let’s get what I did not do out of the way. It is the same as most weeks. I did not read my Bible, which I should be doing. I want to but I just never do. I did not paint, although that is not a goal of mine any more, the note that is tapped on my bookshelf says differently. I also did not work on my novel. I may today, but I am not sure. I will not be pressuring myself to do much today. I was crazy productive and this is my only day this week when I won’t be running around.
As far as my goal focused on talking with my family goes, I have communicated with them. I still want to talk more and strengthen our relationships more, but I am noticing an increase in communication and I am feeling more connected to them.
I worked out for half an hour at least every day except for Wednesday and Friday this week, those two days I just could not get to the gym because I was busy with work stuff. Friday was fun work stuff though. I was in a Hacker Kombat, which is a capture the flag style hacking battle. It was fun but meant that I was exhausted by the time I got home.
I did post a Goal Getter video on the channel on Monday. One person watched it, but I did get another subscriber to that channel. I am thinking that I will finish all the steps and tips that I have already recorded. If the channel is still not getting views I will nod my head and walk away from it. Until then, though, I will keep on keeping on with posting the videos.
Now, you may have noticed that I also posted a five of creative writing posts. I also posted a few words on the last acting video I did, since it was a Stated Song and wanted to explain why I did it. The write-up was a fast little writing thing though, I am not counting it towards my creative writing posts. Still, I did write five creative writing posts, which is my goal for each week. I really liked how most of them came out too. You should take a look at them. All the links will be at the end of this post.
I also, got to post two videos to my creative YouTube channel. One was the Stated Song that I felt I had to do. The other video that I posted was answering a question I found, that I think every actor should be able to answer. I will be posting more of those types of videos in the future. I enjoyed answering the questions and feel like I should. Also, it will tell whoever watches my videos a bit more about who I am.
I believe that is all I did this week. I wrote, posted videos and competed in Hacker Kombat at my work. Here is the list of all that (minus the Hacker Kombat, there is no link for that.),
Stated Song: I Want To Be Something (Video)
What type of Projects Do I want To Work On? (Video)
Goal Getters Step 4 (Video)
Stop (A Poem)
A Scene Inspired by Supernatural (Fan Fiction)
Play On (A Poem)
Words On Stated Song: I Want To Be Something (a write-up)
A Poem from Top Searches (… A Poem)
Beach Dream (A short story)
Wow, that is 9 things from these past 7 days that I did. I will say it again I was productive this week.
Dear mind,
dear dreaming self,
please stop.
You are walking
at it’s a dangerous path.
I see the briers.
I see the holes,
pit falls,
stumbling blocks
and thorns.
I can tell
where all this thinking,
where all this dreams,
and wishing will lead.
It is clear as a day
without a cloud in the sky
and I am wearing new, clean glasses.
The briers are crisp
and the thorns are bright.
The holes contrast the beauty of the light
the pit falls are almost shouting
with their daunting blackness.
The warning signs are hung
and they are direct,
so mind please stop,
dreaming self wake up.
I know where this is going.
I have been down this road,
journeying around this area,
too many times before.
I have walked to the end of the road
nearly falling off the edge,
so mind please sleep
and dreaming self turn off.
You need to stop,
before you fall into the hole.
Desist unless you trip
into the dark pit falls that are around.
Resist even thinking about the flowers
their steams are thorns.
Turn around before the briers get you.
Mind, please I have had enough.
Dreaming self it is all a dream
one which you control.
Please, self, turn around,
in your mind,
walk down another path.
Do not journey down
the path meant for two.
Do not go on the road
when you are alone.
Thank you.
I woke up today with a nice surprise. I had heard my phone go off before I got out of bed. I figured it was a friend messaging me for some reason. When I looked however it was actually a list of emails. There was six emails this morning telling me people liked my Who I am poem. Every like means a lot to me, but the fact that I got six likes over night was surprising and started my day off right.
Starting my Saturday right  was important to me, because I have been sick for most of the week. It was not a debilitating sickness, just a cold that drained me of energy and made motivation hard. By Thursday I had enough of the annoying cold and decided to take the day off of work, which meant that I at least felt like I needed to make up my work. I was planning on doing that last night, but instead I took it easy and only wrote one poem. I did not touch anything resembling acting or editing my novel that I hoped to have enough energy to do.
This morning, however, I woke with energy and a friendly boost from those likes and went to the gym. Now, I have energy and motivation to work on a monologue, write this DreamWard Bound post, and most likely a few other things. We will see what the day brings though.
As far as my goals go I did not read any of the Bible, which is listed as my first goal. I did listen to the audio version a bit. It is always more relaxing and easier to listen to an audio book and not actually reading it. It also tricks me into thinking I don’t have to read it for myself. I am trying to break myself of that thought process though. I want to read the Bible for myself.
My second goal it the one about my family. I have gotten better at communicating with some,  but I still do not feel as close as I want to. There are still those who I do not text or talk to weekly. I am talking to a few more though, so that is progress at least to me.
Next is my weight loss, which I am happy to say I did a lot better this week with, even though I had no energy. I also did not have the biggest appetite. As of today I lost 5 pounds of the 30 I want to lose.
My fourth goal is my Goal Getters videos, which I did post this week. It was Step #3  in the steps I use to achieve my goals. I am thinking that I will start to do a step and a tip, every week. I have a bunch of tips and I keep finding more. I keep discovering other tips and I am thinking that I might as well share all the ones I have now. I still have to think about pacing myself though and not running out of energy or ideas.
Now, my poetry goal was not meant this week. I almost wrote five poems or posts, but taking Thursday off as a sick day made me miss one.  Also, having a cold made it hard. I did write four posts and one of them was my 200th post. I also wrote a celebration post for the fact that I wrote 200 post, well now it is over 200 posts.
I also recorded another monologue, which I did last Saturday. I was able to edit it and post it last Saturday. I also recorded a few question and answers about acting. I found the questions a while ago and have wanted to answer them. I did forget about them for a bit, but now that I found them again, I really wanted to answer them. I will be posting them once I edit them down and make sure they make sense.
I did not touch my novel and am taking away the painting as a goal. I will still paint, but it will be when I have something to paint and not painting because it’s on the schedule. Painting now needs to stay my hobby, not a goal.
That is all my goals for this week. I will hopefully be able to get be more productive at least with my first two goals this week.
Here is the list of things I did this week.
I’ll wait (poetry reading video)
I actually did not realize I posted/ published 7 things this week. I think this list is becoming more and more helpful to me. I do hope that the list is helpful for you or at least these posts are enjoyable.
I’m going to reach down deep
to pull something up.
I will whisper now
while I learn how to shout.
I will stop myself
to become myself,
because with every dream
there is a struggle.
When you try to turn
you dreaming
into your reality
you must sacrifice
to get everything.
You must give away
to see your dreams in reality.
So, I will fight against myself,
push what I want now down
and pull up what I am meant to have.
I will control who I am,
to become who I want to be.
I will whisper, ‘keep going,’
so I can shout, ‘I made it.’
Always reminding myself
my dreams will be reality.
Some days you just have to remind yourself that you can do it. The road may be hard to get to where you want to go, but you can do it. Â You can face and beat any struggle, challenge, or obstacle if you know and believe you can.
One day I will prove that to you, by my life, til then keep on journeying on with me. Â
This week was crazy at work. I was in the role called support, so I had to deal with people all week, client and co-workers. I can tell already that I will not like the weeks when I am on support. This week was a roller coaster and had to stay late most nights, because although some days were slow it seemed like the questions came at the end of the day.
This week just further proves the point that there is no typical week. Every week and every day is going to be different. All I can do, all any one can do, is be their best during that day or week.
All that being said, I did not do well on my goals. I just had no energy, brain power, or will power to do anything besides living after work. I did not read my Bible at all, which is supposed to be my #1 goal. I did talk to my family members a bit, but not as much as I would have liked.
My weight loss and healthy living style was a joke, but I did realize something about it. I am a stress eater. When I am overly stress or tired I just don’t care and will eat more. I also need to make sure I at least walk every day, because even if I have no energy for the gym I can do little things.
I did get the third Goal Getters video up. This week was step 3. I almost want to post more than one a week, but I don’t want to run out tips. I also don’t want to start something extra when I know I wouldn’t be able to continue it long-term. I Â at least don’t want to do that with this channel.
I did not write five poems this week, but I did write four. One of my poems from this week was really received well. I got a bunch of likes on the blog and on the Facebook link. The link was even shared. The poem was I’ll wait and I will be doing a poetry reading of it for YouTube later on.
I do have a monologue that I will also be recording soon. I did not practice it yet, but it is shorter than the other ones.
This is the off week for painting, so I will not be doing that. I am also thinking about reevaluating the goal. Painting is my most artistic form, at least I feel like it is the most artistic  form I do. I like the freedom in it and how each painting is saying something. If I have to do it for 2 hours every other week, than it turns into a chore I have to do and not an expression that I love doing.
Lastly my novel is still on the back burner. I am hoping to start taking notes and working through it in the next few weeks. I know once I start I will not be able to stop and will fall back into that world. I can not wait for that to happen, but life is getting in the way.
Now, that I write all the goals out it seems like I did do a lot more than I realized this week, which makes me glad that I wrote this post. It also pushes me to wanting to do more this next week. We will have to wait and see how the week goes though.
Here is what I did this week.
Mabel Chiltern’s Monologue (Video)
That is 6 things from the last 7 days (I think I am going to start to keep track of the number of things I post each week).
Are you the dream I dreamed?
Are you the prince that came
sweeping me off my feet
with a smile and a laugh?
Are you the dream I dreamed,
in a far off land
close by love?
Was it a love that would never end?
Are you the dream I dreamed,
both with my eyes closed?
Was the laughter real
and the looks meant
to penetrate my soul?
If you are the dream I dream
the prince I wished for
and my ideal
please let me know.
Show me how to start,
before your solid form
turns into a memory.
I am realizing more and more that there are no normal weeks. I feel like every week is different from the one before it. I am always changing and always learning. It seems that in life’s journey you are always tweaking what you are doing, so that you can do it better.
Now, that I got that bit of philosophy out I will tell you what I actually did this week. Hopefully I will stay on topic, since I am pretty tired.
Monday was a real great day. I got home earlier than normal, went to the gym, wrote some poems and edited a video for my new channel. I also posted that video onto said channel.
Tuesday was a friend hang out night, so I skipped the gym and the work. Instead I hung out with my friends and even cuddled with the baby in the group. To clarify, he is an actual baby, who is the son of one of my friends.
Wednesday was another gym day with a more relaxed writing/ work schedule. I had a late dinner thanks to my roommate, who actually made it. I was just going to go with canned soup, but instead I got an amazing meal.
On Thursday my focus was on acting, since I had my improv group, which I actually led this week. It was a crazy day at work and had to rush to the group, but I went and did some improv. After it was over though, I had no energy for anything else, so went to bed early.
Friday I got my nerd on and played Dungeons and Dragons with my friends. I stayed later and had fun relaxing. There was not much to tell from that night though.
Now, I wrote most of this post early because I thought I would have time to finish it up on Saturday. I was going to wake up early and write, but since I was up so late I slept in. I wound up waking up and going straight to the beach. I was in charge of holding a fire pit for my church. I almost finished this before going, thankfully wanting to get there before all the pits were taken won out. When I got there only one fire pit remained. I even got asked multiple times if it was taken for the entire day. Two people asked if they  could share, but with the group size and timing the first one could not. The second group was able to share though and I got a free lobster out of it. I will explain more about that in a short story later in the week.
The holding the fire pit for the entire day is why I am a day late. Still, I am keeping you up to date and writing you this post. I hope you enjoy it. Here is a list of things  I did this week.
Introduction To Goal Getters (A video)
I am sitting in my favorite cafe that is just down the road from my home with a hat, striped t-shirt and shorts on feeling like a real artist or at the very least a creative person with a great life. It is interesting since that is not how I woke up. I woke up with the annoying question of, “why?” Why am I even trying to lose weight? Why am do I wrote and force writing upon myself? I also did not want to do any of it. I did not see the benefits of going to the gym when I was not meeting my goal. This morning really was all about the gym. I wanted to be lazy, so I was for a bit, but then I went. I worked out for an hour, pushing myself to burn more calories. Now I feel better and got to relearn a lesson: If you push towards your goals not matter what the outcome is you will be happier than you would if you did not. Also you can’t blame or put yourself down if you try your best.
That was this morning thoughts, but let us get to what I did this week. Since I set up new goals and revised older goals last week this week was really focused on figuring out how to meet them. I found a good reading plan to read through the Bible in a year. I tried really hard to diet and work out almost everyday, which did not really work because I was not tracking what I was eating and I think I ate too little and still worked out. I also tried to be more organized with my time, which was hard since I am changing job positions at my work. I was not as productive with my poetry writing as I would  have liked, but at least I wrote from the heart. Another thing I did was edit my poetry reading of Your Efforts and posted on to my YouTube channel. It was not my best video but at least I did it.
I also have an idea for my  YouTube channel to change all the thumb nails. I want what the audience sees to look professional and informative, not just screen shots of the video or random pictures. That is a thought for the future though.
Now that my rant is over here is the list of what I did this week.
Your Efforts (A Poetry Reading) {video}